Rambling Logic – Dogmania in Kenopia!

Here are some questions. They should be answered within the context of the given information. (Required Canine IQ: Average, Required Human IQ: High.)

Question 1:
A Management Guru should know something about Cognitive Dissonance – I do, and so I am a Management Guru. Is there a logical fallacy in the statement?
(Note: Does it really matter? Isn’t all management is grand compilation of logical fallacies? Woof!)
Options:

1. Yes
2. No
3. Can’t Say

Question 2:
These funny questions should actually brand me a philosopher. And a philosopher should be able to answer simple questions such as why humans like to inflict pain upon themselves. I can answer that question by applying the theory of cognitive dissonance. Now does it make me a philosopher, or a psychologist, or a Management Guru? Could someone logically deduce my true occupation?
Options:

1. Philosopher
2. Psychologist
3. Management Guru
4. All the three
5. Can’t Say

Question 3:
If you are still reading, you are a genius. If you’ve moved on, well, you would anyway not read this, hence, I can be truthful and say that you are definitely not a genius. You are a genius. Am I right in my deduction?
Options:

1. Yes
2. No
3. Can’t Say

Question 4:
All geniuses are passionate about following their chosen course of action. This is equally true of the bloodhounds. So, could we say that all geniuses are bloodhounds, or would it be more appropriate to say that all bloodhounds are geniuses, or…well! Which one of the following is a correct deduction about the relationship between geniuses and bloodhounds.
Options:

1. All geniuses are blood hounds
2. All blood hounds are geniuses
3. No genius is a bloodhound
4. Some geniuses are bloodhounds
5. Some bloodhounds are geniuses
6. Can’t Say.

Question 5:
If both the above statements (about the geniuses and the bloodhounds) are fallacious then we could surmise that the author, a canine, is definitely not a genius and so, not a blood hound. In context of the given information (assume that you don’t know that I am a Zinar Cutie), is the deduction acceptable.
Options:

1. Yes
2. No

(Send in your answers. I’ll show you mine in two days. In case of disagreement, we’ll finalize the answers through a democratic process, similar to the one we’ve witnessed in Iran! Got it, didn’t you?)

Note: If you are a bloodhound, leave your blog’s link in the comment section of this post. Production in the Oodget factory has now started, and the first clock to roll off the line is a bloodhound clock. Mercury is making some new clocks for the Dog COM project, and if there’s no bloodhound among my friends, she’ll ship it against the Dog COM order.

Note 2 (The chewed one): I’ll publish the answers to this puzzle on July 10, 2009. The answers will not be withheld, and will be published as and when they are posted as comments (and as and when I sniff them out. The woos of comment moderation.)

Of course, the canine/human who answers all the questions correctly, will win the Smart Pup Award.

Note 3: As the title suggests – this puzzle is the outcome of some rambling logic, which in turn was the outcome of a somewhat painful extraction of a crooked crook of a wisdom tooth! If you feel that the answer isn’t given as an option, please feel free to add it in your answer. I am open to all the criticism that is directed towards this crazy woman called Mercury!